Sorcerous Sweets & Cursed Candies

William T. Thrasher
I'm sweet on these sweets.

We're nowhere near Halloween, so now is the perfect time to talk about tricks and treats and magical candies that are both all at the same time. In the grand tradition of Oddities for a Hung Stocking and Oddities for a Candy Shop, we present an ever growing, ever evolving table of magical candies with unpredictable effects!

Candy Sword-cane: A festive candy adorned with blood-red stripes. When licked, sucked, or nibbled down to a point, this candy transforms into a fully functional, if garish, walking stick containing a concealed blade. The walking stick, hidden sword and all, dissolves away into peppermint goo ten minutes after the blade is drawn.

Chewing Gum: This thin strip gummy material made from ooze extract comes in fruity and minty flavors and is a sensible alternative to pipeweed. However, this gum sprouts teeth and will chew your tongue until there is nothing left but a bloody stump. A victim of chewing gum cannot speak, provide verbal components for spells, or use bardic performance.

Chocolate Covered Cherry Bombs: These tangy, savory confections are infused with alchemically active liqueurs. Normally harmless, when thrown with sufficient force or exposed to flame these sweets detonate with the force of an explosive rule.

Chocroach Cluster: A chocolate patty in the shape of an insect containing a multitude of cockroaches, mealworms, and other high protean insects. If you induce vomiting one hour after eating a chocroach, you vomit up a verminous swarm. The swarm obeys your commands for ten minutes, after which it disperses.

Gingerbread Horseman: This anthropoid cookie bares frosting decorations evocative of the uniform of a coachman, jockey, or cavalry officer. When the head is bitten off and consumed the cookie transforms into a headless horseman. The horseman obeys whoever summoned it until the next sunrise, at which point it crumbles way into…crumbs. The headless horseman is an expert animal handler, but lacks other skills useful outside of a stable.

Gumdroppers: Vaguely sweet jellied candies dusted with sugar, weighting half again as much as conventional gumdrops. For one hour after eating a gumdropper you take double the normal damage from falls, and a fall from any height causes falling damage.

Jawbusters: Hard candies the size and shape of sling bullets. Contact with saliva causes a jawbuster to explode with a sugary pop. The explosion is harmless unless the candy is inside a mouth. If so, the explosion does tremendous damage to the teeth, gums, and jaw. If the victim of a jawbuster has a bite attack, it loses its bite attack until the damage to its jaw is healed.

Jumping Jellybeans: These multicolored confections come in a variety of colors and flavors and possess a little extra kick. For one minute after eating a jumping jellybean you can jump three times as high and cover thrice the distance in one leap.

Neko Wafers: These thin, chalky, flavorless disks are nevertheless irresistible to felines, who flock to anyone foolish enough to unwrap a package in an environment where cats dwell.

Sourballs of Annihilation: These lemon-flavored yellow spheres bare a terrible curse. The have the most wonderful sour flavor. However, anyone consuming one of these sinister candies loses their sense of taste. The curse of a sourball of annihilation can only be undone by a greater wish or the intervention of a god.

Wight Chocolate Morsel: A temptingly sweet dollop of crème-colored chocolate in the shape of a skull. The candy tastes spoilt to the living, but when placed on the tongue of the dead causes the corpse to animate as a rampaging zombie. The smell of wight chocolate is irresistible to the undead.