What's in the Barrel?

William T. Thrasher
We'll have a barrel of fun.

Have video games taught your players to smash every damned barrel to see what's inside? Are you tired of the same old random treasure tables that assume every container on the multiverse just happens to be filled with a mix of potions, scrolls, weapons, and assorted poisons? Then this table is for you! In the grand tradition of Oddities for a Treasure Hoard and Got Any Change? comes a new ever growing, ever evolving table of useful strangeness. Now, when your players want to know what's in the barrel, you can tell them with fresh confidence.

1. The barrel contains a dwarf adventurer. There is a 50% chance the dwarf is dead, and an equal chance he is dead by starvation, suffocation, or dehydration.

2. The barrel is filled to the brim with aromatic spices from a distant land. There is a 30% chance the spice is laced with poison.

3. The barrel is filled to the brim with seawater. Below the surface are 3d10 scuttling lobsters.

4. The barrel has no visible bottom. It is a barrel of holding. Roll three more times on this table to determine what barrel contains. If this result is rolled again during this time, the barrel is a barrel of devouring.

5. The severed head of a troll, still alive but encased in magically generated ice so that it cannot regenerate a new body.

6. The barrel contains a cask. The cask contains a hogshead. The hogshead contains a pony keg. The pony keg contains a matryoshka doll.

7. The barrel contains apples and a frightened young boy who knows a great deal about the plans of pirates.

8. Someone's dirty laundry.

9. The barrel is filled to the brim with cheese so aromatic that one might pass out after taking one whiff. However, this cheese was made from exceedingly rare dragon milk.

10. Shards of many-colored glass. If a mending spell is cast upon the shards, they reassemble themselves into a set of fine crystal goblets and an elegant decanter resting atop a crystal tray.

And that's only the beginning! Check back regularly as your favorite d-Infinity contributors add new barrels with new contents. And feel free to add your own. How quickly can we reach 100 entries?