Flesh to Scone: A Nuisance Spell for Pathfinder

William T. Thrasher
Hot, fresh scones! Or is it "hot flesh" scones?

Better dead than bread, or so the saying goes. A favorite spell of whimsical spellcasters and witches housed in gingerbread who think themselves above cannibalism of the common type, this spell quickly and efficiently turns flesh into hearty, dry pastry.

FLESH TO SCONE

School transmutation; Level sorcerer/wizard 6, witch 6

Casting Time 1 standard action

Components V, S, M (flour, water, and a handful of raisins or currants)

Range close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)

Target one creature

Duration instantaneous

Saving Throw Fortitude negates; Spell Resistance yes

The subject, along with all its carried gear and clothing, turns into a mindless, inert pastry. If the pastry resulting from this spell is broken, eaten, or damaged, the subject (if returned to its original state) has similar damage or deformities. The creature is not dead, but it does not seem to be alive either when viewed with spells such as deathwatch. Only creatures made of flesh are affected by this spell.

The pastry created by this spell can sustain a medium humanoid for a number of days equal to the subject's Constitution. Also, when casting this spell the resulting pastry can be robustly flavored by adding additional optional ingredients to the material components (e.g. cinnamon, chocolate chips, orange extract, etc.).

The 6th level spell scone to flesh reverses this spell.

For more humorous spells, check out the Nuisances Spell Index.