d10 Annoying Personality Traits

William T. Thrasher
Are you annoyed yet?

Not every NPC needs to be heroic, villainous, or epic, but every NPC needs to make an impression. But sometimes the first impression is the worst impression. Often, the people we most often remember, we remember because of what they did wrong, what they did weirdly, and what they did that annoyed us. With that in mind, I'd like to share with you this quick and dirty table of annoying traits, several of which are inspired by people who have blessed and cursed my gaming table. So get out your d10 and get rolling!

01

The character ends every statement with the same stock phrase. Roll a d6 to determine the phrase: 1) “Per se” 2) “Like you do” 3) “And things of that nature” 4) “…ladies.” 5) “Am I right?” 6) “KnowhutImean?”

02

The character casually touches things owned by other people.

03

The character habitually sticks their finger into a bodily orifice. Roll a d4 to determine the orifice: 1) Ear 2) Nostril 3) Navel 4) Do I have to spell it out for you? There is a 50% chance the character is compelled to look at their finger with casual interest afterward.

04

Once per interaction the character attempts to liven up the conversation by casually telling a racist joke, then getting loudly indignant when no one laughs.

05

The character gives everyone a nickname, then refuses to refer to them by anything but. Roll a d6 to determine the nickname. 1) Scooter 2) Champ 3) Chief 4) Hoss 5) Sport 6) The Cat Man.

06

The character habitually bites their fingernails. Roll a d4 to determine the fate of the nails: 1) Spat out 2) Chewed and swallowed 3) Stacked in a little pile 4) Used like a toothpick to scrape fingernail bits from between the teeth. There is a 50% chance the character bites their toenails as well.

07

When asked a question, the character’s first response is to quote scripture wildly out of context to the situation at hand.

08

The character puts copious amounts of the same condiment on everything they eat, and inexplicably always has a supply of this condiment on hand if it is otherwise unavailable. Roll a d10 to determine the condiment: 1) Ketchup 2) Catsup 3) Ranch dressing 4) Spicy brown mustard 5) Hot sauce 6) Soy sauce 7) Mayonnaise 8) Worcestershire sauce 9) Wasabi 10) Maple syrup.

09

The character responds to statements by hastily turning those statements into questions, then asking those questions rhetorically as if they are the most profound things in the world. Example: “At last, the Eye of the Serpent is in our grasp!” “Or are we in the grasp of the Eye of the Serpent?”

10

The character’s clothes are covered in animal hair. Roll a d4 to determine the animal: 1) Cat 2) Dog 3) Ferret 4) Cat, dog, and ferret. There is a 50% chance the character doesn’t own or live with any animals.