d-Infinity

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Damn the RAM

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INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA -- If there is one piece of advice I can give Gen Con attendees, it is to avoid the RAM. This watering hole a block from the convention center is packed with gamers from the day before the convention starts until the day it ends, despite the long lines, crowded conditions, high prices, and crappy attitude of its managers. 

Part of its popularity is simply because of how close to the convention center it is. Part also is because of the surface effort it makes to be appealing to gamers by renaming food items, hanging banners, etc. It was, in fact, one of our favorite places in years past, and we even ran a picture drawn at it, titled "A Drunken Night at the RAM," in one of Skirmisher Publishing LLC books, Nuisances. It took, in fact, several years of consistently unpleasant experiences to drive me away from it.  

After a point, however, I simply got tired of waiting between 90 minutes and two hours to get a table at an overpacked, noisy place with nothing to offer beyond a dining experience on par with Bennigans, at prices that are considerably higher. Being told that I am eating Hobbit Fingers or Dragon Turds or Sauron's Schlong instead of the much more prosaic items being offered does, frankly, not add much of an incentive. 

By two years ago I had begun to point-blank refuse to go to the RAM with anyone who wanted to. Then, the day after Gen Con 2011 ended, the people who I was with insisted they wanted to go there for lunch before we all hit the road and headed home. It was nearby, we were all beat and pressed for time, so I just agreed to go. Suffice it to say I was sorry. 

Despite the place being less than half full the service was still slow and it took awhile to place our orders. Then, eventually, the waitress started bringing our food and, one-by-one, sat plates down in front of each of us ... except me. Turns out that the thing I had ordered half an hour before was not available and her solution was to not mention this and to simply bring me nothing. I was stunned and asked to speak to the manager -- but he refused to come out of his office to see us! He did, however, agree to comp my lunch, and I asked to waitress to bring me whatever would be quickest at that point, which she did. We finished eating, settled up as quickly as we could, and then headed out. The final indignity, however, was yet to come, and did not hit me until a few weeks later, when I was at home sorting through my receipts from the convention -- and realized that they had in fact charged me for the belated lunch that they had agreed to give me on the house. I contacted them via email and never received a response. 

But there is absolutely to reason to suffer this sort of abuse! Downtown Indianapolis is full of great restaurants and for anyone willing to walk an extra block -- which, unfortunately, many gamers are simply unwilling to do -- and it is not difficult to find many other fine establishments, which include India Garden, Rockbottom, Bucca de Beppo, and P.F. Changs. So go to the RAM if you want to, be a sucker, listen to your tool friends -- but remember that you were warned.