Top Five B Movies

Yes, I’m starting to run out of ideas for a top five list. I’ll have to put some serious thought into the next few weeks. At this point, it looks like my weekly top five is about to come to a close.

I’ve been a fan of B movies since I was a young man. Yes, I do enjoy the summer block-buster but there is a certain charm when it comes to low-budget movies that were made for fun.

At least, we hope a lot of the movies were made for fun. I guess quite a few were made to be serious, but due to budget constraints the movie did not turn out as the director and producer would have liked.

Oh, and I have to give credit where credit is due. The SciFi channel has churned (yes I meant to use that work) B rate movie after B rate movie for years now. In fact, they have become the king of the B rate movie.

Most of the movies I will say are complete and utter crap! A few have turned out to be quite entertaining however, and I will mention them here.

Also, how can I not mention the world’s worst director, Uwe Boll. At times I feel bad for the guy. He tries so hard to direct good movies but they have turned out to be steaming piles of crap! I have only found two of his movies to be watchable, and one was done purely as a spoof.

These oft terrible movies have another great aspect… as a gamer, they’re absolute pure gold when it comes to inspiration!

Here is my list of my favorite B rate movies.

1. Sharknado – Who would have thought such a terrible movie would have turned out to be so entertaining? So much so that this movie has spawned not one but two sequels. The acting is atrocious, the special effects are laughable, and the whole concept of sharks being able to survive in a tornado is as hokey as it comes. And yet, for some utterly incomprehensible reason, this movie works. The sequel was as equally entertaining and I am almost loath to admit it, but I really am looking forward to the third in this series. I would say trilogy, but I am willing to bet there will be more.
2. Hell Comes to Frog town – I saw this movie way back in the day. I was never a fan of wrestling, but there was a certain charm about Rowdy Roddy Piper. Maybe it might have had to do with a run-in with him at the Regina Airport way back in the day. This movie places him as the last man on earth who can ‘ahem’ impregnate women. He ends up being captured by a group of mutant, humanoid frogs. Hilarity (some unintentional) ensues, especially when he freaks out about an explosive device strategically placed on his person. If you can find this movie, it is really  worth your time to watch.
3. To Cast a Deadly Spell – I don’t know if you would call this a B movie or not, but it certainly did not receive a major release, nor was it one easily found on video. This is a story about Henry Philip Lovecraft, who just happens to be a private detective in the 40’s. He is hired to recover a stolen magical tome. This was one of those rare gems which turned out to be a forerunner of the Urban Fantasy genre. Again, it is one that is very difficult to find but if you can, do yourself a favor and watch it!
4. Brainsmasher: A love Story – Who would have thought that Andrew ‘Dice’ Clay could do a movie in which he didn’t act like a dick or swear every second word? The story is very simple, a model is trying to smuggle a package out of Europe to Portland Oregon. On the way she is beset constantly by a group of Shaolin Monks (don’t make the mistake of calling them ninja’s!) who want the item. Dice plays a bouncer who ends up getting involved in the whole sorrid mess, despite his best wishes. It was a lot of fun and showed that Clay could play a different type of character than his usual. I do recommend it, if you can find it!
5. Death Race – I’m not talking the old version, but the new movies, which started with Jason Statham. These movies were a blast to watch, including the two direct to video sequels. They had a lot of cool chases and tons of vehicular mayhem, plus hot girls, explosions and firepower. The two sequels could have been better, and I honestly would like to see a return to the big screen, with a better budget than the sequels. Pure popcorn movies and fun to boot.