Terrible Party Games for Terrible Brats!

Clint Staples

These are the games that I came up with for the Games for Terrible Parties episode of D-Infinity Live. For the first couple I seemed to be channeling Terrible Games for Parties, so I tried to make up for that with the third one. But I think the fourth entry is actually s decent rehashtag of a classic kids game.


Little Monsters – The game provides everything devious little minds need to turn themselves into little monsters. This is especially good as a game if the birthdays child’s big day is sometime in the fall, AND if the party location is someplace isolated, like a farm, a secluded cliff, or ideally, a deserted island.


Every child gets an identical mask, and a smock (and the entire area, along with any adult helpers, are protected to something like HAZMAT standards). There are markers and many varieties of stickers, googly eyes, glitter, pipe cleaners and other standard kids craft stuff.


The Game Master should lead the kids through the process of making their mask, directing them to think about the Monster Showcase, in which they will be rewarded with the screams of their victims – the other monsters.


The Showcase – Each monster will parade before the others, acting the part of their monster. The assemblage of fiends will scream their approval. The one with the loudest, longest screams is the winner. As reward, the winner gets to lead the other kids through clean-up.


Cake Boss – The birthday Brat sits on a chair across the room from the cake. All the other kids sit around the cake, blindfolded, with a single cake decorating “thing” like icing, sprinkles jellybabies, edible spraypaint, silver leaf, etc, and probably wearing some sort of smock. The Birthday Brat gets to decorate their cake by remote control, telling each kid what to do in order.


Murder Room – The parents for the first two games get together the day before and build a Dexter-esque “Murder Room”. This is not in order to better enable them to murder their offspring, tempting though that may be when they are hopped up on purple icing, jellybabies and double-sugar soda. This is pre-cleaning for the monumental messes that these two games will create. Besides, you can have Texas Chainsaw Massacre and other gorefests playing in the background, along with Hannibal and the aforementioned Dexter, of course. Just to keep you in the mood.


Cell Phone – Decide on the order of play. Every kid gets a turn to be the original poster. The kid whose turn it is types an odd message of his or her choosing in private chat to the next player in sequence. The player is timed and must type quickly or be eliminated. Expressly - She cannot change any Autocorrect adds or alterations before hitting send. The receiver of the message, must open a new chat window to the next player in sequence, and type the message as quickly as possible, again not fixing any messed up autocorrectness. This progresses to the end of the sequence of players, who then reads out the message, and tries to guess the original message.